A Christmas Tale from
Edinburgh 1891
The scene
is Christmas Day 1891, at 32 Great King Street in the douce Georgian New Town
of Edinburgh. If we were able to look through the window, we might see some
servants and family rushing around in a state of high anxiety. Helen, the lady
of the house, with her children Millicent, John, Arthur and Cuthbert, all home
from school, all dreading the arrival of Papa coming home from his attic office
in New Register House off Princes Street. Why were they so anxious and dreading
the arrival of the head of the household?
The
Christmas tree was up and decorated sumptuously with ornaments and candles, a
roaring fire was crackling in the hearth, an enormous goose had been turning on
the spit. What could possibly go wrong?
“Right,”
cried Mama, “all into the drawing room and close the door. I want to speak to
your father alone!”
Helen opened the door to her husband, Mr James Balfour Paul, Lord Lyon King-of-Arms, for it is he, and uttered the fatal words,
“Darling, I have something to tell you before we go in to Christmas Dinner, and I want you to remain very calm.”
Lyon’s face darkened.
What
is it,” he asked testily. “Has cook burned the goose?”
“Much worse,” said Helen, pausing for dramatic effect: “we have no potatoes!”
Her
husband let out a truly leonine roar.
“What?!! I ordered them myself – a half-ton sack – from that wonderful farm in Crook of Devon! How could there be no potatoes for our Christmas Dinner?”
“Cook went up to Waverley Station to find out and it seems the potatoes could not get through as the train-drivers are on strike,” said Helen pacifically.
“On strike!” her husband bellowed, with such vehemence that it drew an answering carillon from the grandfather clock in the hall. “That useless North British Railway Company will be hearing from my solicitors!”
And
so, the Balfour Paul family, James and Helen, little Millicent, John, Arthur,
and young Cuthbert, munched their way through an unusually spartan Christmas
Dinner, the clouds of their father’s rage adding an unseasonal sauce. Three
months later, at Edinburgh Sheriff Small Debt Court, the roaring Lyon had the satisfaction
of being awarded a decree of absolvitur against the North British
Railway Company in the sum of 9 shillings by Sheriff Hamilton. Ex ungue leonem!






